I first started my career in the television business in New Mexico working for a small market local news station as a Producer/Director role. I moved to Connecticut in 2011 to take a job as a Operations Technician at ESPN, in Bristol, CT. I'm currently an Associate Operator at ESPN, working in the Content Edit Department of Production Operations. I work with the Editing software Quantel and AfterEffects.
During my spare time, I dabble in web design and social media, as well as pursuing my Master's degree in Interactive Media. I fancy myself a film maker after receiving my undergrad degrees in film making and broadcast journalism. Whenever there is a chance to create a short film or tinker with a new film toy I'm there. My hobbies bleed into my professional life, but mainly include computer gaming, and photography.
I use the bio and subject defense assignments to talk about focus and you. Notice that your Star Wars post is simply a better bio than your biography post. A biography meanders. Your subject defense focuses your life. A biography talks about your hobbies, where you were randomly born. Your subject defense tells us about you through the things that matter to you.
ReplyDeleteIf I look at your subject defense, suddenly facts in your bio make more sense. I know why you were a film major. I know why you are at ESPN. I know what you still hope to accomplish. You do a good job focusing your bio on film and TV, but the Star Wars post says more.
These two assignments are drafts of your blog’s About You page. The more your drafts experiment, the better your final draft will be. Try to combine the best of these two pieces into a whole new About You. Try a few more drafts. Then tweet a few bylines. Try and get you down to a sentence.
Like I said in my last comment, give us more specifics. A better biography has more detail and so does better writing. Again, your specific Stormtrooper outfit says infinitely more than, “I like Star Wars.” It says infinitely more than, “I was born in New Mexico.”
Your writing, every bit of your writing, should be as specific, telling, and engaging as that one photograph.
Good work.
You and I share an interest in many of our hobbies, from Science Fiction to film making. We have even had parallel careers.
ReplyDeleteThe major thing I noticed was your shift in tense from the first to the second paragraph.
This was confusing and created a lack of unity.