Sunday, July 28, 2013

Short Commercial Script


               INT. - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

               DREW and JULIE are watching Battlestar Galactica on the
               television using Netflix.  The show is ending and Drew
               reaches for the remote.

                                   DREW
                         What do you want to watch next?

                                   JULIE
                         Uhmm, you choose.

               MARK enters the room.

                                   MARK
                         What are you guys watching?

                                   DREW
                         We were just watching some
                         Battlestar Galactia.  Now we're
                         just browsing.

               MARK pulls out his smartphone and shows DREW.

                                   MARK
                         Check this out.

               DREW and JULIE look at MARK's phone.  MARK shows them an
               application on his phone.  The TITLE reads "Netflix
               Shuffler".  

                                   MARK (CONT'D)
                         I present, the Netflix Shuffler! 
                         It's perfect for when you don't
                         know what you want to watch on
                         Netflix. 

                                   DREW
                         How does it work?

               MARK logs into his Netflix account on their television.  He
               proceeds to show them the program.

                                   MARK
                         Netflix already knows your favorite
                         shows and movies.  So Netflix
                         Shuffler uses that info to
                         automatically play shows for you.  

                                   JULIE
                         Doesn't Netflix automatically play
                         another episode already? 

                                   MARK
                         Yeah, another episode of the SAME
                         show.  This allows you to watch a
                         new episode of a different show
                         automatically.  

                                   DREW
                         So it's like an auto-pilot for
                         Netflix!

                                   MARK
                         Exactly!

                                   JULIE
                         That sounds great, how do we sign
                         up?

                                   MARK
                         Super easy, just go to your Netflix
                         account and sign up.  

                                                         MUSIC FADE UP.



               INT. - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               DREW and JULIE sit down on the couch and DREW signs up for
               Netflix Shuffler.  MARK sits down with a bowl of popcorn and
               they start watching an episode.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.

4 comments:

  1. I like your script. It's conversational. It touches on the points without getting overly technical.

    A few pointers:

    Like I told flyaway1999, don't say, "it's easy" or "super easy." If something is easy, then they will find out that it is. If you have to say it's easy, it usually isn't. Like, "trust me." That's the first indication you shouldn't.

    Also, Mark sounds out character when he says "I present, the Netflix Shuffler..." That whole line should be condensced down to something along the lines of, "It's the Netflix Shuffler." Then Drew can ask how it works. Makes it less folksy and more conversational.

    Last, for the last scene, You don't need to show them signing up for the service. It's implied they signed up when Mark showed them. Just have them sit down and watch the program.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks. I definitely have too much clutter in this and I'll clean it up for the revised version.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks. I definitely have too much clutter in this and I'll clean it up for the revised version.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi, I like your script. It's conversational. But I got lost when Mark showed the app on his smartphone. Then he logged into the account on the television. I'm confused as to how it's all suppose to work. What's the purpose of the app?

    ReplyDelete